Duelling Scar

In my dreams, I often resort to violence and screaming. Literally. Dino Spouse wakes me at least twice a month, often more, as I begin shrieking or furiously kicking and punching him in my sleep. I frequently reflect on how fortunate it is for me that Dino Spouse, an amateur heavyweight boxer, is not the one with the predilection for fighting in his sleep.

On Tuesday night, I dreamed that I was being pursued and leapt over a fence. Somehow this involved me engaging my nightstand in single combat. It won, so I have a lovely black eye.


Common Things, Rare To Me

Dallas is full of these birds in certain areas. They are called Grackles. They fascinate me.

I couldn’t wind down to sleep last night when I finally went to bed at 2:30 AM. I was not partying hearty so I will count it as a rare instance of insomnia. It was followed by fitful sleep and strange dreams of librarians in camouflage attempting to rebuild literary society in a post-apocalyptic water world that was part swampy reading room, part a warren of Bronx apartments, and part an imaginary “edge of the world” locale that appeared to be an ancient system of locks for sea navigation. Twisty Faster was the keeper of the swampy reading room and she let me sit with her and a bunch of kittens even though she vaguely disapproved of my ecological mores.

This morning is not being kind to me. Has anyone invented an adrenalin version of the Epi-Pen or caffeinated shower mist? If not, can someone please get on that immediately?

Customer Satisfaction

Tonight Podrostok is completing his first job application ever. This is a momentous event.

When I applied for my first job I was also 16 and a junior in high school. That was 28 years ago. The process involved walking around the mall and completing job applications in person. I wound up selling shoes. It was the only shoe store that had shoes in my size, so the employee discount came in really handy.

(Come to think of it, I recently dreamed that I had taken a part-time job at another location of that store as an adult but forgotten to show up for a bunch of shifts. It was not a pleasant dream.)

Podrostok did his application online from the comfy chair with his siblings and me listening to him read aloud each of the 96 questions on their “can you add and not steal stuff” questionnaire. The organization appears to take workplace safety very seriously.