Maternal Circuit Overload

Odd, isn’t it? I can contemplate Podrostok‘s impending enlistment (your US Army, ladies and gentlemen) with complete equanimity. I got through his high school graduation without shredding a tear or even misting up. He turned 18 recently and I was totally calm. But the sight of the SF-1199 (a venerable federal government direct deposit form, for non-initiates) struck a chill into my heart when it appeared on our kitchen table after his induction. Now the act of opening savings and checking accounts for him online feels like farewell, the kind you know will hurt for a long time but in the moment you only want to throw up and your mouth won’t sit right. My little boy is an adult and he’s leaving soon.

I guess I’ll go clean something now.


One thought on “Maternal Circuit Overload

  1. I found that my son’s departure hit me at weird unexpected moments. I sobbed through graduation, but I also sobbed in September when we made our weekly shopping list and I discovered that we were not out of either cereal or milk. For the last ten years or so, we were always out of cereal and milk. Not having someone around consuming gallons of milk and boxes of cereal just made it so real. Yeah, he’s really gone.


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